In case you live on another planet, you know that today is Valentine's Day, or, as I prefer to refer to it: Singles Awareness Day (SAD). You would have to be living on another planet or be an agoraphobic hermit without a television to NOT know, because the Peoplewholiketocreateunecessaryholidays have been hawking this day since, oh, I don't know, HALLOWEEN.
As you have probably already guessed, I hate this day. It is just another painful reminder that I am (still) alone. Please don't get all "Well, think of all the widows/military spouses/etc." there are out there. I am wallowing in my self-pity and will stay here for a bit. Thankyouverymuch. I'm not looking for words of comfort much like I am not looking for any cards in my mailbox (ah-la Charlie Brown).
Not knowing how I felt, my kids were their usual selves today. And I loved it (mostly). We did have a Valentine's party (I'm not that bitter...yet.) but I wouldn't let them eat any of the candy they got.
Think before you hurl unnecessary mean comments about me being a Valentine Scrooge.
I did bake them brownies. With little red, pink, and white candies in them. And I brought them juice.
Aren't you glad you didn't say anything?
I also gave them Valentines. Mad Libs Valentines. Hey, if they are going to get something rather frivolous I would like for it to at least have some educational purpose.
I also learned today that I still single because I am apparently doing it all wrong. Here in its unedited version is the list of things I should do if I want a man (as told to me by the sweet child who asked for help with the wedgie last week.) Please remember, these are HER words, not mine:
- Bake him lots of cupcakes and brownies. You are good at that.
- Sweet talk him, but not too much. Let him sweet talk you.
- Be yourself and show him who you really are.
- Don't buy him a lot of gifts. He is supposed to buy you a lot of gifts.
- Make eye contact.
- Wear nice perfume.
- Wear decent clothes.
- Wear a decent amount of make-up.
- And for goodness sake...DON'T WEAR YOUR HAIR IN A PONYTAIL ON YOUR DATE.
Lord, help that man.
So, anyway, Happy Valentine's/SAD, from my favorite Valentine and me: