Ashamed because you had less than charitable thoughts about the person who cut you off when you, too were in a hurry? Not proud of the fact that you have eaten pretty much everything in your house that isn't nailed down? Well, then, Not Me! Monday was created just for you! Not for me, because I would never do anything like that! Here are some other things that I haven't done:
It wasn't me who, after finding out that I won some super cool placemats from a blog contest, grinned stupidly for an hour. I am way to cool to be excited about something like placemats. With birds on them. That I won in a blog contest.
It also isn't me who is scarfing down strawberries while they are still in season. Fruit is fruit and strawberries are in season every year. No need to scarf them down like they'll never be around again.
I wasn't yelled at by a parent this morning because her, um, lessthatperfect child had to have a chaperone on the field trip because he can't be trusted to behave himself. It wasn't me who wanted to tell her that she had no business being mad at me because her darling waited until this weekend to give her the permission slip that CLEARLY stated she had to attend the trip. All of the children that I work with are always super responsible and well behaved.
It isn't me who is a little scared to call the bank to find out whether or not I can get a loan to buy my own house. I am adult who always handles her responsiblities in a timely fashion and is never scared about things like this. Ever.
I am not the person who will sit and watch You've Got Mail....again. For the billionth time. And not be tired of it. I can't pretty much quote the whole movie word for word. I have much too much to do to sit around watching a movie that I have already seen. Many, many times.
And finally, it wasn't me who tricked Catzilla into kitty jail this morning. I love playing with the cat and would never, ever stoop to trickery to get her to do what I wanted.