Sunday, April 25, 2010

Some random Sunday musings....

I wasn't going to blog today. I am trying to work through some things right now and I hate that so many of my posts have been sad, morose, drama-filled, or, you fill in the blank with the appropriate depressing adjective.

I am sitting on my couch watching a chick-flick and trying not to feel over-looked, left behind, lonely, sad....I was playing a game on Face Book and trying not to cry. Lame, I know.

I woke up this morning and had a panic attack. In my mind and in my heart I know that things are going to work out for me in the home situation, (An interesting aside, though, I discovered another *ahem* untruth yesterday concerning something that my roommate and I were told in regards to where we are living now. Every time something comes to light I just have to shake my head and wonder about people. Just tell the truth already.) but this morning I was really freaking out. We are in a time-sensitive situation now and the shorter the time gets, the more freaked out I get.

As I am sitting here, playing a game, trying not to think about where I am in life as opposed to where I thought I would be by this time in my life (you know, married, a couple of kids, a mini-van, etc.), and trying not to cry, oh, and trying (and failing) to not eat EVERYTHING in the house, I hear a very sweet (sweet to me) sound.

miss raven is snuggled under some blankets next to me and be next to me I mean RIGHTNEXTTOME. She is snoring and it is like music to my ears. Every once in a while she will wake up, sit up, and look at me with sleepy face. If you have a dog, you know what sleep face looks like. When I hear that, when I see that, I know everything is going to be ok. At least, I am pretty sure it is. She depends on me for everything and, at this childless stage in my life,(yes, the clock is ticking. LOUDLY.) she is everything to me and I will take care of her.

On another happy note...I actually WON something in a giveaway on another blog! I am SO excited! I have a few blogs that I follow, mostly because they are funny and make me laugh, like Taylor, or I can semi-identify with them, like E, on whose blog I won birdie placemats. I so NEVER win ANYthing, so I am so stupidly excited that I won these! I can't wait to get them!

I will try to write some happier posts in the future. I promise.

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