I {heart} summer.

Honestly, I think that says it all. :)

Up, down

I finally gave in and ordered Verizon Fios. Yea!!!! It was installed today and, so far, I am mostly loving the high-speed internet. I really and truly believe I was probably about the LAST person on earth still using dial-up. High-speed is great, fantastic, amazing, wonderful. So, I'm up, right?

You would think so. Really--I'm mostly really happy about this. However.....I STILL cannot access the Itunes store. And now, I can't seem to be able to check my AOL mail. I am not too concerned about the AOL thing. It is most likely their problem, not mine. I am EXTREMELY unhappy with the Itunes issue, though. I was able to download the newest version of the Itunes store (and, is it just me, or are they coming out with a new version every other week or so?!?) but when I try to connect to the store the error message I get tells me that I am not connected to the internet. Really? Ummmmmm....I'm not the world's expert in computers and all but I am PRETTY sure that, if I wasn't on the internet I wouldn't be able to, I don't know, POST THIS MESSAGE!!!!!!! Any computer people (geeks) out there who can help me? And by help, I mean help--not telling me that my almost nine year old computer is most likely a piece of crap and I REALLY need to replace it. THAT would not be helpful.

Raven was exceptionally good during the whole installation process. She only barked at the Verizon guy a few times. It took the guy forever to get all the work done and I honestly thought I was going to have to lock her in another room. She did really well, though. I should have know better. :)

blueberries for melicity...not sal.

I went blueberry picking today. It was my roommate's idea and a good one, I must say. I wasn't sure about the whole idea of picking blueberries because that requires one be outside. You know...in nature. Amid the bugs, tree worms, inch worms, flying things, etc. I am not a "nature" person. Hiking...nope. Camping...bwah, hah, hah, hah!!!! My idea of camping is a Motel 6 (or 8 or whatever number they are) instead of a Marriot. I DO NOT CAMP. God, in his infinite wisdom never meant for me to sleep under canvas in a sleeping bag. Without a normal bathroom around. Eeeeewwwwww.

Anyway...blueberry picking, aside from bugs, was fun. And, to be honest, there weren't THAT many bugs. I took my camera so that I could document the whole me-being-out-in-nature thing, but left the camera in the car. You'll just have to believe me and wish that you could smell/taste the fresh blueberry muffins that came out of the oven a little bit ago. ;)

I also took miss raven for a walk this afternoon. She LOVES to go for a walk. The only problem is she pretty much gags herself on the leash because she is so excited she won't walk nicely. Today, though, I took her out on the retractable leash with her harness. Also forgot the camera for that. She had a great time but was hot when we came back in. She is rested though and now requires my attention as she wants to play with her squeaky stingray. Yes, you read that correctly. She has a squeaky stingray. Spoiled? I prefer to think of it as well loved. ;)

A very real personal battle...

I am and have always been a VERY emotional person. I'm the girl who cries over sappy made-for-t.v. movies, sappy hallmark commercials, sad songs. You name it, if it tugs at the heart strings, I WILL need the box of tissues.

In addition to that, I am an emotional eater. My struggle with my weight is not a secret. You can't really hide something like that. Um...people notice things like that. It was tough growing up because I came from a clean-your-plate family. As we all know, there are starving children in ________ that would eat that food. (Note to all children: If your parents make the mistake of saying that to you, never EVER make the worse mistake of telling them they can box up the stuff on your plate and send it there. Just a word to the wise.) On the nights that we would have what I considered the worse possible dinner ever (lima bean, hot dog casserole--you just try and beat that!), we would have dessert. Good dessert--homemade apple dumplings for example. So unfair.

I do not and would not ever blame my parents for my weight problem. I think in some ways it is very much like an addiction. Like alcohol or cigarettes. When I am happy, I want to eat. When I am sad, I want to eat. When I am lonely, I want to eat. When I am angry, well...you get the picture.

The problem with being both an emotional person AND an emotional eater is that you are SCREWED no matter what. I have to be so, so careful to not eat because I am happy, sad, lonely, angry, or any of the other bazillions of the emotions that people feel. I literally sit and talk to myself mentally convincing myself that I really don't want the food that is in the cabinet. It is all well and good to tell me not to buy it and keep it in the house. Usually, I don't. There are no boxes of Cheez-Its in my house nor are there any cartons of ice cream. I have no willpower when it comes to those items. There is no such thing as portion control where those items are concerned.

Sometimes, though, I can't talk myself out of it. I am too lonely or too sad and I just think to heck with it. Then it's like a monster is unleashed. I can eat and eat and eat. Afterwards I hate myself and have even, on occasion, eaten so much that I made myself sick and then I hate myself all the more.

I hate that people who are overweight--yes, fat--are judged the way they are. No one ridicules an alcoholic. No one ridicules a cigarette smoker. Fat people, though are routinely made fun of. I can remember, growing up, people asking me "where's the pork?" I was so aware of what I ate in public that I ended up sneaking food in private and feeling guilty about it. I was embarassed to try clothes on. High school and college where a nightmare because it is all about popularity. That made me sad and lonely and, yep....I ate more.

I have no one to blame but me. I made myself that way I was and only I could change that. I have been working on it but, even though I know I look good now I still wonder how long it will be before I don't see the fat girl in the mirror any more.

Ahhhh...summer

All of the sudden I have been on a movie kick. Seriously, I am a manaic this week when it comes to watching movies. And I think I am in love with Redbox. I normally don't have time during the school year to watch many movies. Occasionally I will go to see a movie on a weekend, but I hardly ever rent them because I am tired when I come home from work and don't feel like trying to pay attention to a movie. In the summer, I have much more free time so during the school year I keep a "Summer Movie List." That way I can remember the movies I want to see. So far I have seen the following movies:

1. Taken--excellent, highly recommend.
2. Hotel for Dogs--cheesy, but the kids will love it.
3. Last Chance Harvey--after watching it I understand why it was his last chance.
4. Doubt--very, very good. Excellent acting.
5. Paul Blart, Mall Cop--I am ashamed, deeply ashamed to admit I rented this movie.
6. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas--Absolutely excellent. Stunning ending.

I don't feel so guilty about staying inside and watching movies in the afternoon because it has truly been oppressively hot here this week. I.AM.NOT.COMPLAINING. I LOVE the heat--I wait all winter for the heat. Bring it on, I can take it. ;) Raven likes the heat too. She loves to find the perfect sunspot in the house and stretch out in it and sleep.

Have you tried Facebook, yet? It is amazing the people that I have found on Facebook. Not new people, but people that I grew up with and went to school with. People that I haven't seen or talked to in years. Haven't talked to since high school. I even found out that one of them is living pretty close to me. Amazing.

Anywhere else in the world.....

I have spent some time this morning thinking about where I would chose to be if I could be anywhere else in the world but here.

I grew up in Texas and, although I would eventually like to go back there, I would not like to move back to where I grew up. If you've read my blog you've seen the pictures. Need I say more? I love my family, don't get me wrong, but really--I can't take the barrenness. It is too bleak for me.

One of my greatest dreams is to travel. Notice that it is a dream--not a reality. Generally, I can't afford to travel. I'm not complaining--trust me. While I don't have everything I want, I more than have everything I need, so, no complaining here. I do want to go places though. I know that there is much to see here in our own wonderful country, but there are so many places in the world that I want to go.

I would love to see England--my maternal grandmother was British and that has ALWAYS fascinated me. Greece, Switzerland. Germany, Austria, Russia, Spain, Belgium...all of these places are on my list of places I would like to go.

Right now though, I would just like to be at the beach. I want to be at the beach all day--to see the sun rise in the morning and then set at night. (The only better sunset than one at a beach is a sunset behind the mountains. There is a beauty in that that is beyond compare.) I want to feel the sun on my face and the sand between my toes. I want to walk on the beach near the water and watch the sandpipers run in and out. I want to lay on a blanket in the sun and listen to the waves come in and out. I want to walk on the boardwalk and smell the cotton candy and french fries and funnel cakes and candy apples and pizza and ice cream.

I am feeling restless. Not that I am unhappy with my life, I would be a fool to complain about the life that I have, but I just feel like something is missing. A good friend of mine recently shared some wonderful news with me. Although I am so happy for her, I am also jealous. There are things that I want that, for whatever reason, I don't seem destined to have and it leaves me feeling restless and confused. And that makes me angry with myself. So, to cheer me up a little I give you this:
and this:

and this:There, that makes me feel a wee bit better. :)

A trip to the vet, or AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

So, raven went to the vet yesterday. Nothing alarming, just a routine check-up. I love her vet. She is so sweet and very good with my neurotic little diva.

No matter when I take raven to the vet she has a panic attack--raven, not the vet, although I wouldn't blame the vet if she did when she saw us come in. I can take raven in the truck, on the plane, just about anywhere else and she is just fine (except to a certain house in Ohio) but when I take her to the vet, all bets are off. She whines, she barks, she cries, she tries to claw her way inside of my body because she just can't get close enough to me. Obviously she hates going to the doctor as much as I do.

When we got there yesterday, there was a HUGE dog (personally, it looked like a small horse, just sayin) and three small dogs in the waiting area. I was scanning for a safe place to sit where I could block raven's view of just about everything. My theory is if she can't see it, it doesn't exist. Just as I was about to give up and sit in between the horse-dog and the poodle, the horse-dog and it's owner got up to pay (and what a bill THAT was!). Phew! That left me with a nice safe spot in the corner. By the time I got settled in for the wait (because it doesn't matter what time your appointment is, there is ALWAYS a wait), the horse-dog and one of the small dogs had left. You would think that would calm raven down, but you would be mistaken. She wanted out of her bag so I clipped her leash on. Then she wanted inside me. Yes, you read that correctly. INSIDE me. Because being plastered against my chest just isn't close enough. She barked and she sniffed and she barked and she sniffed. One dog left and two others came in. Finally, it was our turn.

We went into an exam room and the first thing they wanted to do was weigh her. Of course that meant prying her off of me which was no eay task. We got her on the scale and to my surprise she had lost almost a pound. I was a little worried about that until the vet said that she was a good weight. Overall, her check-up was great. Her coat is nice and shiny, her ears are clean, and she only has a little bit of build-up on her teeth. She had to get a pedicure (which she HATES) and she had to have some bloodwork done. All of this cost me a pretty penny but she is so worth it.

Going to the vet wears her out. I think it is all the stress. She napped for the rest of the afternoon but was quite ready for dinner and a lovely cookies afterwards. She was also up for a game of kill-the-squeaky-squirrel:

When it was time for bed she was TIRED. :)

A trip to the vet....

Raven has to go to the vet today. Don't worry, nothing is wrong. It is time for her annual wellness-bloodwork for heartworm testing-heartworm pill buying-nail clipping-frontline buying visit.

I hate having to take her to the vet because I feel like I am tricking her. She is so sweet and thinks that she is going somewhere fun with me. Then, I take her into the waiting room and the reality hits. It's never pretty and heaven help us if there is another dog in the waiting room because then, my little chihuahua turns into a pit bull (in her mind anyway).

Above anything else she H-A-T-E-S getting her nails cut. I won't do it because she squirms too much and I am afraid of hurting her. At one point she had a very bad vet experience where every single nail on each of her paws was cut too close and she bled. That was a BAD night. I am terrified of doing that to her so I just let the vet do it. We have a new vet now who takes VERY good care of her. She is very gentle with her and I appreciate that.

This is how she looks before the vet:I'll let you know how she looks after the vet tomorrow. :)

Those hazy, lazy days of summer....

I love summer. No, really. I mean it. I LOVE summer. For me this is THE best time of the year. Winter is cold and requires entirely too much clothing. Summer is warm, the sun stays out longer, I am way more relaxed, and I can wear all of my fun summer clothes. I get to sleep later in the summer thus enabling me to stay up later. :) My work hours change in the summer which is nice since I now work through the summer. No more three month long vacations for me.

Every year I tell myself that I am going to be more adventerous in the summer. I am going to go into the city more and go to the beach more. And every summer I don't. This summer will be different (I hope). I want to go in to the city more and I do have plans to go to the beach already. Yea! Yea for summer!!!

July 4 was always bittersweet for my mom. She loved summer as much (or more) than I do. When the Fourth of July rolled around though, she always looked at it as the half-way point of summer (although in El Paso-where summer goes until October-it really wasn't the middle of summer). She would always say that it was all down hill from there and it depressed her that winter was coming. I try hard not to think like that because I want to enjoy the summer that I have left, not worry about the winter that is coming.

It seems that, the older I get, the faster the summer goes. Tomorrow starts the third week of summer vacation and with school starting earlier it seems that summer goes by faster than ever. I am, though, DETERMINED to enjoy every single minute of this summer--heat and all. Actually, I don't complain about the heat. I LOVE it. The hotter the better. You know, you can take the girl out of Texas but you can't take Texas out of the girl. ;)

Happy summer, wherever you are. Even if you are in a law firm in Ohio, but getting ready to go to Florida for a week. ;)

More about the Race

The Race for the Cure was this past weekend. The race is important for me for a few reasons, the number one reason being that my BFF's mom is a ten year survivor of breast cancer. When the disease touches someone you care about, it touches you, too. It is important for me to support this cause because I want a cure to be found so that no one else ever has to go through what she or her family went through.

I was determined to run the race this year. Usually we walk and that's fine, but I have been on a quest this past year to be more healthy. Hence the decision to run. It is only a 5K, so it really isn't that big a deal--well, to anyone besides me. :) Those who know me know how much of a girly-girl I am. I HATE to sweat. Eewww! I know, though, that I have to get the heart pumping in order to strengthen it and that means sweating. Might I just say EEEEWWWWWW, again?

I started training in January by doing a DVD that really increases cardio strength. When February rolled around I started running. My goal at first was just to run the darn thing in under 45 minutes. Well, 45 minutes became 40 and 40 became 36. I realized that 36 minutes was a 12 minute mile, something that I never thought I would be able to do. My other goal was to run the whole thing. I did not want to start off running and then conk out half-way through and walk the rest of the way. I think this was the thing I was the most concerned about.

Saturday morning was beautiful. It had rained all day on Friday and I was worried that it would carry over to Saturday. Thankfully the rain left and we were blessed with nice, cool weather. Here are some pictures from the ride in on the Metro:
Here I am at the start line:

and here I am at the finish line:

I must confess--the finish line picture was taken about 20 minutes AFTER I finished the race. Although my friends were waiting for me at the finish line, there were also about 50 bazillion other people there (slight exaggeration) so I didn't find my friends until about 20 minutes after I finsihed. I promise--I did not look THAT calm upon finishing the race. My face was the color of a VERY ripe tomato and I was DRIPPING with sweat (eeewwwwww!!!)

So--yea me! I did it! I am hoping to run another 5K in October. I am even starting to consider a half-marathon sometime next spring. We'll see. :)

Oh--and here I am with the COOLEST 9 year old I know. :)

This is just a picture of the Capitol and the corner of the Botanical Gardens. I thought it was kind of a cool picture. :)
The end! :)

Yea me!

I did it! I ran my whole 5K without stopping and in 36 minutes! Can you tell I am super proud of myself?? I have pictures, but haven't uploaded them yet.

I had a great time with my BFF. (By the way, yesterday was National Best Friend's Day. Did you tell your BFF how much they mean to you? Did you??) Having her family in my house is always a crazy thing but it is worth it. I love getting to see all of them, even if it is only for a short time.

I also got to see my cousin whom I haven't seen in years. She just finished her first year at Harvard Law School and is working in the city for the summer. We had lunch and spent a long time talking and catching up. It was nice. :)

Yesterday I had jury duty. I honestly felt like I was trapped in the seventh circle of hell. You laugh but I am serious! I got there early (I despise being late) and waited, and waited, and waited. Ok--to be fair, I was prepared for the wait. I brought a simple crochet project to work on and a new book to read. The first wait took about two hours. Then , just my luck, I was called to be on a 75 panel jury pool for a murder trial. :( I was juror number (luck) 13. We were ushered out into a hallway (single file--I felt like I was in 1st grade) to wait some more. Then it was in to the courtroom to (you guessed it) wait again. Only this time we weren't allowed to do anything but wait. No reading, no talking, no crochet, no bathroom breaks, no eating/drinking. Nothing but sit there and wait. On the most incredibly hard benches I have ever had the displeasure to rest upon. My back is STILL sore today. I was in that room from 9:45 until 2:45. WITH NO BREAKS. After the seemingly endless (yet I am sure completely necessary) list of questions, it was finally determined that a few selected (lucky) jurors could leave. Yours truly was not among that blessed group. No, I had to line up in front of the judge and attorneys and await my fate. It seemed like just about everyone ahead of me was taken to sit on the jury. Then they got to me. The prosecutor wanted me but to my utter delight and not-so-much surprise, the defense attorney uttered my favorite words of the day: "Please thank and excuse." Whoo-hoo!!!!! I get to leave.....or NOT! I had to sit on those stupid hard benches for another 45 minutes at which time the judge FINALLY told the rest of us we could leave. I think I might have been limping by then. I understand that jury duty is my civic duty and I was actually excited about it when I first got the summons. Yesterday, though, was RIDICULOUS!

This is what I need to cheer me up:

Mommy's sleepy girl!

Sighing with relief

My stress is over....well, at least for now it is. I can breathe for a while and not have to worry about this student, or that teacher, or THAT parent. I can work on things that need to get done and still have time to relax and spend time with her:

or her:

or her:


Which I am planning to do this coming weekend. My best friend's family is invading, errrr, visiting this weekend. I love them....all of them. They are coming to see me and to participate in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. We do this every year because her mom is a 10 year survivor of that horrible disease. I am actually running the 5K this year. I have been training since February and am hoping to make it. I would like to run it in less than 40 minutes, but just being able to RUN the whole thing will be a major accomplishment for me.

After the race they will spend the day, and I do mean the WHOLE day in DC. I'll stay for a while, but I can only visit the dead-animal museum so many times.

Speaking of museums....Last weekend I went to see the new Night at the Museum movie. Totally worth it! I really liked it. It's a good movie, which is sometimes hard to find these days. no gratuitous shedding of blood, no curse words (highly unusual), no sex....just a really good movie. Next on my list...UP.

I LOVE summer! :)