Friday, July 12, 2013

Old letters...

Every once in a while I come across something from my past that evokes some strong emotion and it happened again last night.

Let me set the story for you...

I had just gotten into bed and was getting ready to turn off the light when I happened to look at the floor behind my bed and saw...ants.  Currently they are the bane of my existence.  I loathe them.  Anyway, after a few minutes of investigating, I determined that they were after a rogue cough drop in my nightstand.  I'll spare you the disgusting details of how they were swarming all over it.  I ended up cleaning out my nightstand (and under it and behind it and on top of it...).  This involves cleaning out not only the drawer but the shelf-y thing underneath it.  As I was cleaning out the shelf (it was mostly filled with books, go figure), I discovered an old hat-box that I put letters in.  I would guess that about 90% of the letters that were in there were from my mom.  Some going back as far as when I was in college.  I didn't read through all of them because after about two of them I was crying so much I couldn't see.  I put the letters back and pulled out some cards and discovered that they were cards people had sent me in sympathy when she passed.  Cue more crying.  I finally put everything away, washed my face, and went to bed.  With a raging headache.  Which meant I couldn't sleep.

A month from today will be eight years that she has been gone.  It's about this time of the year that I fall into a really creepy deep funk and usually it takes me a while to figure out why.  I still miss her so, so much but I am going to make a conscious effort this year to try to keep myself from sliding into the depression that leads up to August 12.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Those lazy, hazy days...

You know what's great about summer vacation?  Half the time I don't know what day it is.


I woke up this morning trying to figure out if it was Thursday or Friday.

I'm pretty sure it's Thursday.


I'm enjoying my rather quiet week after three weeks of being on-the-go.  I haven't done all that much and it's been nice.  I did go see Despicable Me 2 yesterday and that was a lot of fun.  It was at least as good as the first one, easily, and I LOVED the first one.

I've also been exercising on the bike.  I do 30 minutes a day and yesterday rode almost 7 miles.  I have to be honest, the time I'm done, my butt really hurts.  I'm thinking about sitting on a pillow today.  Also, my hips are killing me.  I'm old and I don't like it.

I've also been really good about keeping track of what I am eating.  It is easier for me to eat more healthy in the summer because I am all about summer fruits and veggies.  Last night I had an apple and a pear for dinner and this morning I had strawberries and blueberries with my breakfast.  I've also discovered the miracle that is the frozen banana.  Seriously.  You must try this.  Slice up and freeze some bananas.  Once they are frozen, throw some in a blender and blend away.  In a few minutes you will have "soft-serve" ice cream.  Last night I added a couple of tablespoons of peanut butter.  Um.  YUMMMMM!!!!

That's pretty much about it for now.  I am going to drink some water, knit a little, and work myself up to ride the bike today.



Monday, July 8, 2013

I know, I know...

I've been gone for a while.


But I swear I have good reasons this time!!!

Namely these two:

OMG!  Can you just die from the cuteness?!?!

I spent almost two weeks with them (and their parents and my dad) and had the time of my life.  They are SO much fun and it about killed me to leave them.

We did all kinds of things but the best part was just getting to spend time with them.

Once I got back from Texas, where, I must say, it was hotter than Satan's armpit, I went to see my best friend and her family in Ohio.

We had a great, albeit it short time, and I already miss her like crazy.  The worst part is not knowing when I will see her again.  (In case that wasn't clear, it was a thinly concealed plea for her to come visit me.  I'm not proud and I'm not above begging.)

Confession Time:

In my quest for "healthiness" I have been a total and complete failure.  Mostly.  For the last three weeks I have eaten pretty much everything that isn't nailed down.  It just dawned on my that maybe that's why my raven girlie has been spending so much time in the bedroom.  Poor thing is probably scared to death!  Today was no exception.  And then the guilt kicked in and kicked in hard.

Over in the corner stood a recumbent exercise bike that my BFF's parents generously gave to me this past weekend.  I can not even begin to tell you how thankful I am for it.  I got it hauled in to the house and it has been comfortably sitting there for the last two days.  And then tonight, after I had gone through the kitchen like a eating tornado, I decided that enough was enough.  I pulled the bike over to in front of the TV, got my water close by, turned on Jeopardy, and started pedaling.  Thirty minutes and five and a half miles later, and dripping with sweat, I stopped.  And I felt good.  I'm still fat, but I feel like I have taken a step to fix that.  I am planning on getting up tomorrow morning and doing another 30 minutes on the bike.  I would like to go for a walk but it is REALLY hot outside, even early in the morning.

Anyway.  I am hoping to lose 20 pounds or so before school starts in 6 weeks.  I want to start the year off on the right foot and hopefully, by this time next year, I will feel alot better about myself.  And maybe I won't mind having my picture taken...