Friday, August 30, 2013


I truly am so sorry that I have been silent for a while.  I never intended to be.  I was not in a (long) funk about the topic of my last post.  I was however, caught up in the newness of another school year.

The older I get the worse it becomes.  Because of the summer off, by the time I work a whole week of school, I am dead tired.  The last two weeks have actually been really good but I am exhausted by the time I come home at the end of the day.

I have a good class this year.  They are a little talkative and right now I know that I am new to them and they are kind of feeling me out to see if I really mean what I say.  (I do.) Overall, though, I am fairly certain that this is going to be a good year.  At the end of the day today I was asking them what their favorite part of this week was and one of them said to me, "Getting to be in your class."  Awwwww!!!!  Heart melt!!!  Another thing that made me feel good was that every single student I have in my class is in my class because their parent specifically requested me as teacher.  I love being loved again.

I must confess, though, that I miss last year's class terribly.  Having had most of them for two years was wonderful but not having them this year is hard.  I am so thankful that most of them still come by, either in the morning or right after school, to say hello and to give me a hug.  Secretly I hope they never stop.  :)

Not much to report on the knitting front.  I currently have not one, not two, but FIVE projects on the needles.  Two are almost done and I am hoping to finish them this weekend.  One is about 65% completed but I really only have the patience to work on it a little at a time.  The fourth is about 75% completed and that is also looking good for this weekend or by the end of next week.  The last one is a sock.  The dreaded second sock.  Meh.

On the "healthy eating" front...I am doing ok, ,I suppose.  I did really well this week but am currently waiting for a (late) Papa John's order.  (And getting later by the moment.  My increasing level of irritation is directly related to their increasing tardiness with  my order.  My pizza better not be cold.)  I did make the conscious choice to request a light amount of cheese.  That should count for something, right?

Have a wonderful weekend!!


Monday, August 12, 2013


some days it still doesn't feel real.

some days i think i can just pick up the phone and you'll be there.


i just wish i could talk to you again.  there is so much i wish i could tell you; so much i wish you weren't missing out on.

i hate that i think that people have forgotten you.  not me, not matthew, or dad; but other people.  sometimes it makes me angry that they go on like nothing ever happened and i have a hole in my heart so large a ship could sail through it.

i miss you so much.


today people will go on about their business like it's a normal day and i will be fighting a losing battle with depression.  oh, i'll smile and i'll act "normal" because, after eight years, it's what's expected of me.  but inside...

inside i'll be dying a little more.  i'll be screaming for people to pay attention to the fact that the world is not the same because you aren't here.  i'll be crying and i'll be feeling like my soul is being ripped out.


and i love you.