Back to life, back to reality...

I went back to work today.

It was good; pretty much what I expected.  I was glad to see the kiddos and they were eager to share with me what they got for Christmas.  I was pleasantly surprised when they sat quietly and listened to my vacation story before they got to tell their own.  There's hope for them yet.  ;)

I have been sick for quite a while now.  This cold doesn't seem to want to leave.  I'm still slightly congested and I can't seem to get rid of this infernal cough.  It's both frustrating and very tiring.

It seems like we might end up with a day off tomorrow.  The weather here, like most of the country, is turning bitterly cold and since a good portion of our student body has to travel outside to get from one class to the next, our administration is leaning toward closing.  I have to tell you that honestly, I would more than welcome the extra day to rest.  It's amazing how tiring being sick can make you.  I went out for a little bit yesterday and, having not been out of the house for almost a week, I was exhausted by the time I got home.  An extra day of rest is very appealing.

Stay warm, wherever you are!  miss raven and I will be snuggling under the electric blanket and doing our best to keep toasty!

:)

Happy New Year!!!

So, last year I said that I wanted to accomplish three things:

1.  Be a better blogger
2.  Make healthier choices
3.  Try something new

I tried sushi.

One outta three ain't bad, right?!

Fail.

So, this year I think I will keep the same goals.  And perhaps I will do better.

🎉Happy New Year!🎉

Is anyone still out there??

I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't.

:(

Well, hello.

It's been over a month again and I find myself wondering how I turned into *that* blogger.

You know.

The one who only blogs once every 157 million years.

Or once a month.

Whatever.

Things are going ok.  School is fine.  The weather is cold.  miss raven is as cute and snuggly as ever.  I'm still knitting.  And I'm still not eating very healthy.  Or exercising.

Sigh.

I hurt my ankle on Wednesday.  Pretty badly.  I did the same thing about ten years ago, but back then it was much, much worse.  Thankfully, although quite painful, this time wasn't nearly as bad.  No need to visit the hospital or even the doctor.  Just some ice, ibuprofen, and good friends who let me borrow crutches and an air cast.

I have a long weekend ahead of me and I am so happy.  It's hard to believe that in just a few weeks Thanksgiving will be here and then after that, Christmas.  Where did this year go??

School is going well.  I am enjoying this class but I must admit, I miss my class from the last two years.  I know I said it before but I really, really miss them.  I am always so happy when they stop by to see me in the morning or after school.  It always brightens my day.

I am teaching this year's crop of students how to crochet.  As is usual, some of them have really taken to it.  I don't know if they will end up as advanced as last year's class but it will be interesting to see how they develop.

That's all for now.  My ankle is getting sore and I am in need of more coffee.  I promise to try to be back soon.  I have pictures of knitting to share.

:)

for my "little" brother...

Who not-so-mildly scolded me over the weekend for my lack of blogging.

I'm a slacker.

I own it.

I haven't had much to say.

The school year is going well, for the most part.  I miss the class that I had the last two years, but this class is good, too.  For the most part.

I miss my niece and nephew.  They are growing up and I don't get nearly enough time with them.

Or pictures.

Ahem.  *cough*mybrotherisaslacker*cough*

Knitting is going well.  I've finished several projects lately, including two shawls.  I'm almost done with a pair of socks and I start a new sweater class soon.  I am so excited about this class!  I've been wanting to make this particular sweater FORever and now I am going to get to make it!

Congress is being a bunch of five-year olds and I am SO over it already.  We were supposed to go on a field trip this Friday that has been almost certainly cancelled because the place we were going is part of the National Park Service and since the government is shut down they will be closed.  So I have a class of disappointed children because Congress is acting like a bunch of spoiled children.

Hmmm....not much else is happening.  It is fall now and I hate it.

Sorry, didn't you know that about me?

Fall comes before winter and I hate winter.  Fall makes me sad because I know winter is coming.  I hate winter.  I hate cold.  I hate snow.  I hate winter.

But I digress.

Football is good and my team is not.  Well, they currently have a winning record but unless something odd happens, like, I don't know, the Earth tilts on it's axis or something, we won't have a winning record after Sunday.  I love the Cowboys and we are playing the Broncos.  And Peyton Manning.  Who is surgical in his slicing and dicing of all teams who aren't the Broncos.  Sigh.  Maybe one year soon we won't suck so much.  But hey, at least we aren't the Giants.  Or the Eagles.  hehehehehehehe!

Done for now.  I'm tired and I'm going to bed.

I hope I have made you happy, little brother.

;)

I've got this...

I think.

Most days I struggle with whether or not I am doing a good enough job for my class.  I want them to grow, to develop, to learn, and to have the best year ever.  I (selfishly) want them to always remember me and to think I was the BEST.TEACHER.EVER.

And most days I wonder if I'm doing enough.

The day races by and I think about the times I have had to stop and count to 10, 50, or even 100 before answering someone so I don't yell/sound impatient/seem frustrated.

I think about what I could have/should have/need to have done before the next day.

I think about how seemingly short my break is and why I can't have an adult conversation during lunch...justthisonce.

I think about a lot of things.

And then I see the smiles.

I hear the laughter.

I see the looks of confusion change to looks of confidence.

I grade a math quiz and am thrilled with 10 A+'s and 1 B+!

I look around an empty room and see evidence of learning, growing, and developing.

And I think...

I've got this.

:)

::crickets::

I truly am so sorry that I have been silent for a while.  I never intended to be.  I was not in a (long) funk about the topic of my last post.  I was however, caught up in the newness of another school year.

The older I get the worse it becomes.  Because of the summer off, by the time I work a whole week of school, I am dead tired.  The last two weeks have actually been really good but I am exhausted by the time I come home at the end of the day.

I have a good class this year.  They are a little talkative and right now I know that I am new to them and they are kind of feeling me out to see if I really mean what I say.  (I do.) Overall, though, I am fairly certain that this is going to be a good year.  At the end of the day today I was asking them what their favorite part of this week was and one of them said to me, "Getting to be in your class."  Awwwww!!!!  Heart melt!!!  Another thing that made me feel good was that every single student I have in my class is in my class because their parent specifically requested me as teacher.  I love being loved again.

I must confess, though, that I miss last year's class terribly.  Having had most of them for two years was wonderful but not having them this year is hard.  I am so thankful that most of them still come by, either in the morning or right after school, to say hello and to give me a hug.  Secretly I hope they never stop.  :)

Not much to report on the knitting front.  I currently have not one, not two, but FIVE projects on the needles.  Two are almost done and I am hoping to finish them this weekend.  One is about 65% completed but I really only have the patience to work on it a little at a time.  The fourth is about 75% completed and that is also looking good for this weekend or by the end of next week.  The last one is a sock.  The dreaded second sock.  Meh.

On the "healthy eating" front...I am doing ok, ,I suppose.  I did really well this week but am currently waiting for a (late) Papa John's order.  (And getting later by the moment.  My increasing level of irritation is directly related to their increasing tardiness with  my order.  My pizza better not be cold.)  I did make the conscious choice to request a light amount of cheese.  That should count for something, right?

Have a wonderful weekend!!

:)

eight

some days it still doesn't feel real.

some days i think i can just pick up the phone and you'll be there.

still.

i just wish i could talk to you again.  there is so much i wish i could tell you; so much i wish you weren't missing out on.

i hate that i think that people have forgotten you.  not me, not matthew, or dad; but other people.  sometimes it makes me angry that they go on like nothing ever happened and i have a hole in my heart so large a ship could sail through it.

i miss you so much.

still.

today people will go on about their business like it's a normal day and i will be fighting a losing battle with depression.  oh, i'll smile and i'll act "normal" because, after eight years, it's what's expected of me.  but inside...

inside i'll be dying a little more.  i'll be screaming for people to pay attention to the fact that the world is not the same because you aren't here.  i'll be crying and i'll be feeling like my soul is being ripped out.

still.

and i love you.

still