Not me (or my dog) Monday!

Ready to hear about some things that I haven't done? Good. Keep reading.

--I did not wake up this morning cursing Eve for eating the stupid fruit. If you are a woman, you understand why I am saying this. If you are a man.....

--I am currently not trying to shake the feeling that I have been forgotten. I do not, on a semi-regular basis, look up and say "Um, hello? Remember me? Kind of lonely down here. You know, in case you were wondering." Sigh.

--I did not have the school nurse take my blood pressure twice today. I am not currently obsessing about my blood pressure.

--If I would have had the nurse take my blood pressure twice today and both times have it come out in the normal range, I most certainly would not have been tempted to cancel my upcoming appointment with doom. You know, my doctor's appointment. I am not terrified of the doctor.

--I did not come home tonight and attempt to mow the grass. If I had, I would not not ever have been tempted to curse at the lawn mower for stopping FIVE HUNDRED MILLION TIMES.

--I also did not mow said grass with said crappy lawn mower in flip-flops. That is ridiculously and dangerously stupid and I am way too smart to do that. I would never mow in flip-flops just because the only tennis shoes I had at home were white and I didn't want to mess them up. Personal safety ALWAYS comes before fashion sense in my household.

--miss raven did not make me sit down beside her so she could eat her supper tonight. She always scarfs down her supper the moment her bowl touches the floor. She is in no way high maintenance.

How about you? Anything you would like to "confess"? No? What a shame!